Depression is an elusive, shadow monster.
It is the silent epidemic of despair; a parasite that feeds on secrecy and the trickery of the insecurity that lives within the idea of self-embarrassment. Yet, there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
It comes to your window, slowly creeping in just along the edges of where the soft sunlight gently fades away.
It makes itself at home in a quiet and shy corner of your mind, watching as all the other characters move within and without the motions of your every day life.
It knows its own method of madness, which is the element of silent surprise, in that while others see a happy and confident friend, Depression is showing you the insecurities of your subconscious and eating you away from the inside, out.
But there is an escape, a way to know and own the silent assassin, Depression.
It requires self love…befriending the solitary creature you have allowed your inner heartache to make of yourself, and letting “her” or “him” to be wounded in front of the others…Those “others” who may not know you have a hard time keeping it sane and happy.
Depression will exhaust you to your very breath, never missing you after you are gone, if you allow it to. However, others will wished you had let them in…to help you and lead you to the healing Love has for you.
Don’t cry alone. Do not allow that devil shadow to poison your beautiful mind.
I was moved today by a Facebook post on Jared Padalecki‘s page concerning his battle with depression. Very many people will not understand, and then again, very many people will–how a person may be handsome or beautiful and blessed with a wonderful family and great success, yet still be brought down by something so seemingly elusive as depression.
“How can that be?” you may ask. “They have everything.”
Maybe what we, who know that devil, Depression, understand that “having everything” simply means in truth, having what money cannot buy–peace of heart; peace of soul; peace of mind.
I understand it all, so very well.
When I was young and in high school, for my Junior year, I missed what ended up totaling to be the equivalent of a six week grading period, out of the school year from suffering from Nervous Exhaustion. My father, who I was certain would be disappointed in me, simply told me it was OK, and that all he really wanted was for me to be happy. So, what he was really saying was that he understood how wounded my heart was, for he knew why.
And his love made all the difference.
Over the years, the seeds of depression laid dormant inside of me, until a major life change allowed them to flourish again like seeds being drenched in miracle grow in a greenhouse.
I was emotionally distraught and physically exhausted…all 61 and a half inches of my frame could have been rolled up like a tattered sponge, and thrown into the garbage.
But I am a fighter. I talked with someone and allowed them to tell me just how beaten up I had let myself become. And I let them help me.
I have never been one to seek arguments, althought my Italian/Irish temper has been known to raise its bullish stance at times…less as I have matured, thank goodness.
I seek the power of what saves me and pray to be championed from the forces that would control me.
It is a constant battle, I have learned, but one I am so much more noticing of now that the “end of the innocence” has sung its song in my life.
Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain we would all do ourselves good to know and understand…even when one is handsome, with a beautiful family and great creative success…we are all of us creatures of this Earth.
Let us care for one another, and evolve into beings capable of greater love and understanding…helping and healing the life we have been given.